Question and Answer #6

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From a parent: What do I do when my child does not qualify for services? Where do we go?

Answer: Sadly, this is a question I wish I did not hear often. How challenging for families who want to make sure their child has what they need to have a meaningful life full of opportunity just like everyone else. Yesterday we held our Annual Footsteps to Transition Fair in Kaneohe at Windward Community College. This is an event that brings together our community partners with the Department of Education. The goal is to empower families with information on supports, services and opportunities for their children as they transition to adulthood. It’s a chance for families to network, gather information and to learn the steps to help their child. Transition means to change from one thing to another. For families, this means moving from being the sole champion for their child to now helping their child to be the champion with their own voice.

Building a circle of support or a team to help their child becomes difficult for families. When I speak with families I hear these words “I tried to…”, “I want…” “I think…” “I spoke to…” The information I receive from families is great, but when I ask “What does your son/daughter want?” The answers stop there. As loving parents, our job is to care, support and ensure that our child has all that they need – but in transition – we must take a step back and now empower our child to share and voice what they want. It doesn’t matter if a child can speak or understand – what matters is that there is a way for them to share what they want, what they can do, what they don’t like, what they love. So before you find the services and supports, do a person centered plan with your child. Draw pictures, write stories, compile a video – help your child find their voice. Help them create the plan they can share with the team. How empowering it is when we can share our experiences, ideas, desires and hopes with others.

Once they have the plan (the map) then we all know where we are going with your child on their journey. We may be in the backseat and maybe you will be the backseat driver – but at least your child is the driver.

It’s an adventure I have truly enjoyed from helping my own child to all those I have worked with — thank you for the ride…